Lies & Admissions
by Athena13
Summary: Alternate version of what happens when John invites Natalie to his apartment after he and Evangeline break up.


**Admissions & Lies**  
Athena13

I haven't seen the scene where nasty John calls Natalie to his room to tell her, yet again, he's not in love with her. But this is 1 version of how I hope it goes. I may calm down and do another version.

>>>>>

"How did she find out?" John's hands curled into fists, his face was flushed.

"Find out what?" Natalie stalled for time with her question and by walking around the pool table to where John was standing.

"You know what!" John bluffed, his body rigid.

"Why don't you tell me," Natalie challenged, moving a step closer. From the distance between them she could feel the heat pouring out of his body and see the sheen of sweat on his face.

"Don't play games with me, Natalie," John threatened.

Natalie could smell his anger and underneath, the arousal just underneath.

"You invited me, but if you have nothing to say I'll just go." Natalie turned. Before she could take a step his hand was gripping her arm.

"How did she find out what I said in the park?" John's voice was rough.

"You mean when you admitted you love me?" Natalie turned and looked him straight in the eye.

"I made no such declaration. I didn't tell anyone that I love them." John's hand let her go as if burned.

"Anyone." Natalie savored the word on her tongue. She already knew, but it was nice to hear. "You mean you didn't tell Evangeline you love her."

"I told no one! It was the heat of the moment. It didn't mean what you think it means."

Natalie just stood, waiting.

"How did she find out?"

Natalie bit back a groan of frustration at his attempt to change the subject.

"I didn't tell her if that's what you're asking. You do know about her habit of eavesdropping, don't you. She's not even good at it."

"Not like you, you mean?" John asked.

"She may have gotten better recently since I didn't know she was listening to me and Michael at the hospital." Natalie smirked.

"You expect me to believe that?"

"I don't really care what you believe about your ex-girlfriend, but I can't believe that you didn't know about the Commissioner's standing order to not discuss anything in the squad room or without closed doors if Evangeline is around."

For the first time since Natalie entered his room, John looked uncomfortable.

"You didn't know, did you?" Natalie practically laughed. Something had turned. When John had summoned her to his room she had been filled with excitement, but now, standing in front of him, she felt bitter and angry.

John shook his head, ran his right hand through the back of his hair and physically backed away from Natalie.

As Natalie saw John reign in his emotions, she began to feel angrier.

"Why the hell did you call me here, John?" She carefully kept her voice calm and steady.

"I wanted to clear up a misunderstanding. About what I may or may not have said in the park."

"Really?"

"Uh, yeah." John hesitated. "What I said, I meant that I care about you. As a friend. You know that. But Natalie. I'm not in love with you."

"Really?" Natalie asked again, this time taking a step closer to John.

"Yeah." Natalie was close enough that John could put his hand on her cheek. As he did so her warmth seeped into his cold veins and he could feel her trembling.

"Say that again, John." Natalie put her hand over his heart. Her bitter smile widened as she felt it speed up from her touch.

"I'm not in love with you, Natalie."

"And if I kissed you right now what would you do?"

She felt his heart skip a beat at her words.

"I know what you would do, John McBain. You would go along. You would wrap your arms around me and kiss me like there was no tomorrow. And I finally get it."

"Get what?" John whispered, his hand still on her cheek, toying with strands of her hair.

"I could have sex with you right now and after it was over you'd still tell me that you don't love me. Or ask me to wait while you work out your issues." She said the last word like it was a curse. "That's what you said a year ago and nothing's changed. There is no tomorrow with you."

John said nothing, but his hand dropped to his side.

Natalie removed her hand from his chest.

"Five years from now you'll be living in some hotel room somewhere and you'll still be this empty shell of a man leading women on. Probably seeing hookers." Natalie gave a bitter laugh.

John's faced hardened at the implication, but his usually blank eyes were full of fury. The fury that only this red head could arouse in him.

"Don't make this ugly," John said menacingly.

Natalie looked away and took a deep breath before turning back to him. Her eyes were swimming with tears.

"You love me. You do. But that's not enough. I don't want to do this anymore." Natalie didn't realize she was echoing Evangeline's words of just a few hours ago.

"Do what?" he asked, again.

"Pretend to be your friend. To chase you around waiting for you to…to…deal with yourself. Michael was right, he said you would break my heart." Now a tear escaped from Natalie's jewel-toned yes and slid down her cheek.

"It's not you, it's all on me."

"You're damn right it is, John. I'm not even sure you'll ever realize what you've lost here." Natalie took a deep breath and put her hand behind John's neck. She pressed her lips to his and as she predicted his arms circled and clasped her to him. After a brief moment she pulled back and looked at him, waited for him to open his eyes. "Good bye."

Natalie wrenched out of his grasp and walked to the door. This time, she didn't look back before closing it behind her.

End


End file.
